The Mother Lode
Hi! Oh my God, it’s been forever, hasn’t it? How have you guys been? What have you been up to? Since my last recap about 64 years ago (it’s felt like that long since a new episode of Prison Break) I’ve gone to another New Kids On the Block concert (don’t judge me – you don’t understand my love for them), my grandfather celebrated his 80th birthday (Happy Birthday, Nonno!) and Cousin Joe turned 40 (Haha! He’s getting sooooo OLD!) Plus, just two days ago we welcomed little Baby Cousin Justin into our family. One day Joe and I will teach Baby Justin about Prison Break. Well, I’ll either teach him about Prison Break or how to drink your way through law school.
Now, let’s get to the matter at hand: the return of Prison Break! It’s almost bittersweet, isn’t it? Because it’s going to END (NOOOO!!). But we’ll dwell on that next month. Do you remember what happened in the first 16 episodes of Season 4? If not, check out a summary I wrote here.
We open in Miami, where Lincoln and the boys (Mahone, Self and T-Bag) are each sent a little envelope with a picture of their loved ones that the Company is obviously threatening to kill if they don’t succeed. We learn that T-Bag’s mother is still alive. Self’s envelope contains a picture of a pretty woman (isn’t his wife supposed to be dead, so who is this chick?). Lincoln calls Pad Man, who’s all “Oh, did you get my letter?” He says their deal is contingent on Linc and the others retrieving Scylla. Pad Man announces that Michael’s now in on the race to get Scylla and obviously some time has passed since the last episode because Pad Man says that Michael is already in Arizona.
Michael and Sara are picking up a pizza and discussing how much further they have to go before they arrive in Miami. Sara suggests they call Lincoln and when Michael hesitates she says that Linc took the Company deal to save Michael and she probably would have done the same. Michael’s all “then you’d be wrong too” and isn’t he just a stubborn bastard?
Michael realizes he forgot napkins and exits the car to get some. At the same time, a gunshot shatters the windshield and I actually jumped (way to surprise me!). A Company assassin has caught up to Michael and Sara and they start running. You know, because this is Prison Break. And if they’re not prison-ing it up somewhere, they’re running (yes, I know prison-ing isn’t a word).
The Company assassin sucks like pretty much every other assassin and loses Michael and Sara in about two seconds.
Back at the Miami hotel the team is brainstorming. T-Bag wants to know who they’re holding over Self, but Self isn’t in the mood to share. Mahone wants to track down the key of that guy who died…..wait, I can’t even remember his name, so let me check my recap. Ok, remember that guy Scott who was in league with Christina and then got killed right before the boys left Gretchen? Well, he had some pretty fancy keys and Mahone’s going to track down the lock for those keys.
Christina is looking at an old picture of herself with little Lincoln (and fetus Michael, because she’s pregnant). Her henchman, Downey, who’s played by an actor who’s name I can’t remember (he was in General Hospital), says that someone tried to access Scott’s super-secret key account to gather information. Downey knows absolutely no further details about that, but tells Christina that Michael escaped the Company and is on his way to Miami.
Michael and Sara exit a car that they hitchhiked in and since they’ve run out of options, Sara suggests they call Lincoln.
Mahone splits up assignments to go find the locks of those keys and Michael calls Lincoln. Linc’s pissed that Michael is interfering. Then Michael drops the bombshell: their mother is alive. Before Linc can get any more information out of him, Michael’s all “I’ll see you in Miami”. Then Michael and Sara manage to hitch a ride in the back of a big truck heading to Dallas.
Mahone and Linc head over to one of the two buildings that is attached to Scott’s key. It’s a nice pretty house. They boys enter, guns drawn. Linc finds the old picture of Christina and himself as a young boy. Mahone quickly assumes that Linc’s mother is involved and could have Scylla.
In the back of the truck, Michael is telling his mother about Sara. He isn’t convinced that his mother was an evil Company agent. Poor baby. Let’s hug it out. Michael wonders if his mother even cares about them anymore, since she was too busy doing Company sh*t instead of saving him and Lincoln.
Pad Man’s in the back of a limo with Oren, one of the cardholders we met earlier this season. Pad Man can’t stop talking about how brilliant Michael is (sheesh, get a room already). He says that if they had been able to turn Michael to the dark side, it would have been like having “30 more years of Christina”. Then Oren exits the car and Pad Man realizes he’s trapped and then he gets totally blown up. Probably
Self and T-Bag are scoping out the second location and T-Bag’s not convinced there’s anything in the building (church), but Self tells him a story about how appearances can be deceiving. T-Bag enters the church alone and encounters a priest. T-Bag makes up a ridiculous story about being an anthropologist and wants a tour. The priest, meanwhile, doesn’t want to let people with black, black souls enter the church sanctuary and tells T-Bag (a la Gandolf) “You shall not pass!!” Ok, it’s only sort of like that. T-Bag leaves.
Mahone’s using his handy fingerprinting kit on the picture. When he finds no prints he asks Linc for information regarding his mother and the photo. Linc doesn’t remember much and he tells Mahone that Christina’s not his mother, she’s just some bitch in the way of his freedom.
Michael’s telling Sara a story about his sixth birthday with his mom and Lincoln and…..you know how Michael’s not usually funny, but when he is he’s really funny? That’s him now. He talks about the Millennium Falcon toy he thought he was getting as a gift, but his mom bought him a stupid birdhouse instead. Except that birdhouse turned out to be his inspiration to become an engineer.
Then the trucker gets pulled over by a cop and Michael and Sara get all nervous in the back. They hide as the cop (unless he’s a Company agent) opens up the back. The cop/definitely Company agent now, shoots the trucker dead and makes a call, saying “I’ve got them”.
And now, after seeing a commercial for Terminator Salvation, I would like to compose an open letter to Christian Bale.
Dear Mr. Bale, you are hot. Like seriously hot. So hot, in fact, that you are on my friend Cindy’s list of men that she can sleep with without fear of reprisal from her boyfriend. And it is your absolute hotness that will allow me to forgive your crazy screaming rants and your occasional wooden acting in movies. But for the love of God, STOP DOING THE BATMAN VOICE IN ALL OF YOUR MOVIES. Just….stop, ok? Stop. P.S. Please don’t let this letter deter you from coming to my condo and declaring your undying love for me. P.P.S. Please tell Wentworth Miller to do the same. You can share a taxi from the airport.
In the back of the truck, Sara suggests they call Lincoln, but there’s no cell signal (they must be in my freaking building then). As the Company guy drives the truck down the highway, Michael and Sara try to figure out a way to escape the truck. Then Michael sees something in the truck and comes up with a brilliant plan in about 2 seconds.
Christina calls Oren and complains that Pad Man is still alive. She’s very, very upset because getting rid of Pad Man is important to their plan. Oren wants to disappear since he’s betrayed Pad Man, but Christina just has his driver kill him instead.
Back at the hotel, Lincoln realizes that the photo is a fake and the car in the photo is a clue. Self and T-Bag arrive and want the other boys to help them back at the church. Lincoln decides to go off to follow the mom lead and wants to go alone, but the others don’t want him to. Mahone announces to the others that Linc’s mom might be the buyer. Linc leaves alone.
Michael’s using a brace thingy (don’t ask me to explain it) to pry open the door, but then the thing breaks, so that plan is shot to hell.
Back at her place, Downey suggests to Christina that they start planning for contingencies. Christina gets all snarky and Pad Man gives her a call. Christina’s lying through her teeth during the conversation (she’s asking if he’s found Scylla when we know quite well that she has it). He keeps asking where she is and he gets very pissed off when she keeps lying. Oh yeah, he’s also burned on account of that explosion that he somehow escaped from.
Pad Man suggests they get together to have a pow-wow, but Christina just tells him to find Scylla. And he better not call her back until he does.
Linc arrives at 441 Martin Luther King Blvd (the clue in the picture) and a man greets him by name. He enters a beautiful restaurant and his mother comes strolling in. Linc asks about Scylla and Christina says it’s safe. He also tells her that he doesn’t really give a crap about her except for her connection to Scylla. She insists that she’s not a monster which, ok lady, maybe you’re not, but you sure a sh*tty mother.
Christina says that leaving Michael and Linc was the hardest thing she ever did. She also says that the Company is a really evil organization right now because it’s run by a really evil guy. But if she could climb the rank to CEO then….well, wouldn’t that just break the glass ceiling and open up the Company to all sorts of swell possibilities. Christina proposes that Linc give her two days to kill Pad Man and ensure his and Michael’s protection. Lincoln mutely agrees and Christina says they can’t speak again until Pad Man is dead, or he might suspect she’s up to something. Am I the only one not buying the garbage she’s selling?
Linc leaves the restaurant and is visibly shaken by the fact that his mom is still alive.
Michael’s incredibly tenacious and has come up with Plan B to help them escape. And….success! The door bursts open and the two jump. Ouch! Have any of you ever jumped out of a moving car? It hurts like a mofo. I’ve done it, but that’s a story we don’t need to get into. The Company man realizes that they’ve escaped and stops the truck to run after them.
Mahone, Self and T-Bag are now staking out the church again when some sketchy guys enter. Mahone wants to wait for them to leave before they go in. The men leave the church and our boys enter. Self announces himself as a Homeland Security agent and says they’re investigating animal sacrifices (apparently it’s illegal to sacrifice chickens in America….who knew?). Mahone wants to take a look around and he and T-Bag go back with the priest. The priests tries to shoot them, but T-Bag stops him. Mahone enters a secret room and finds some special key cards. And a box of guns.
Uh-oh. Another man has managed to get the jump on T-Bag and he and the priest hold Mahone and T-Bag hostage. Then Self comes in, guns a-blazing and kills the two guys.
Sara and Michael are running (always running….) and the Company guy is still chasing them. They arrive at a complex of abandoned buildings (how convenient). This is oddly reminiscent of that time in season 2 when they were being chased by Mahone and they trapped him in that building. Out in Gila, New Mexico. Remember that?
They enter one of the buildings, trying to find somewhere to hide or something to use. Michael hands Sara a pipe to use as a weapon and then takes off. Like the pipe’s gonna stop a bullet. Way to care, Michael. The Company goon shows more smarts than previous goons and tries to trip up Sara. But then Michael smacks him something good and he goes down.
Michael finds a piece of paper with some weird combination of numbers and letters in his wallet. The goon wakes up and tells Michael that Pad Man didn’t send him. And then the dude is dead, as so many Company goons are on this show. And Michael totally killed him.
Mahone, T-Bag and Self meet up with Linc back at the hotel. Linc says they’re going to lay low for two days and give Christina time to take out Pad Man and take over the Company. Mahone insists that Christina doesn’t have Linc’s (or anyone else’s) best interests at heart. The boys tell Linc what they found (guns and key cards). Linc wants to go back and talk to her, but Mahone warns him not to go.
Linc goes back to the house where he found the picture to find it locked. Downey tells Christina that Linc went back to the house and we see a sniper’s scope fixated on Lincoln. Christina tells Downey to order Lincoln shot. And we fade to black. Oh, you sneaky bastards….
There is absolutely no one for me to call. My grandfather’s out at something. Cousin Joe is working. And everyone else but me has a life on a Friday night. But I don’t care, because Prison Break is back!! And I’m just going to go watch it again. See you guys here next week. Let’s hope Michael meets up with Christina and tells her she’s been a very bad mommy and he really hated that stupid birdhouse.
Written by: Clarissa