So I’ve been wondering some pretty random things since the last episode. First, I wonder if any of the actors or crew ever read fan sites like ours and read my recaps. Then I realized that sometimes I wasn’t so nice in my recaps. Then I wondered if maybe some of the little jabs I’ve taken at Scofield are the reason why Wentworth Miller hasn’t shown up at my door and declared his undying love for me, despite the fact that we’ve never, ever met before. Then I wondered if my life was so utterly pathetic that I actually spent my time wondering about these things. Then I realized that it was and I got all sad.
Despite the realization that I need to get me a life, I’m making an effort to say something nice about each major character and actor in tonight’s episode. Just in case William Fitchner reads the recap and then tells Wentworth that I said something mean about Mahone and Wentworth, wanting to stand by his fellow cast member, decides not to declare his undying love for me. So here goes….
Previously on Prison Break…a whole bunch of stuff happened. We open in Sona, with the prisoners standing in a line. Mahone’s sitting on the floor, going through major withdrawal. Poor, poor Mahone. By the way, does that count as my something nice? It’s so much easier for me to be sarcastic. McGrady gets into a conversation with Michael about his home town of Chicago and Michael Jordan. On a side note, my sister and I once took some cousins of ours to Michael Jordan’s club in Chicago and it was a pretty cool place. Then we met Tom Arnold at Planet Hollywood and my sister asked his security people if we could have a picture and he was super-nice. That story had no point except for the fact that I promised my sister I would somehow work her into the recap this week. There, done.
Bellick’s all pissed off that Michael didn’t save him a space in line. You know, because they were such good friends the last two seasons (*sigh* must be nice, must be nice). Then the following conversation happens: McGrady: “You ever have sex with blond cheerleader?” Michael: “Yeah, sure”. McGrady: “You’re the man, bro!” Seriously, what is it with men and cheerleaders? Michael asks how long the water’s been out and it’s obvious the guys are standing in line to get purified water. We learn the water’s been distributed like this since the riots.
Michael, who’s learned absolutely nothing from his Fox River experience about not involving random prisoners in his escape plan, asks McGrady about James Whistler. We learn he killed the Mayor’s son in a bar fight and he’s a wanted man in Sona and has vanished, possibly escaped. Michael looks intrigued. Michael smart. There, something nice.
One of Luchero’s flunkies tries to start something with a fellow prisoner, but Luchero breaks it up. Before he does, the water barrel gets overturned. The prisoners are not pleased, but Luchero promises more water. This is all oddly reminiscent of when Michael started a riot back in Season 1 by messing with the air conditioning.
Bellick approaches Michael, asking for water. I have to say, there are few actors who could still keep their dignity and bravado intact while wearing nothing but their underwear like Wade Williams does. Something nice again. Michael tells Bellick he’ll trade water for information and asks Bellick about the Whistler note he put in Michael’s pocket. Bellick reveals how he met Whistler and his location: the sewers.
Michael walks into the sewers with trepidation. He starts whispering for Whistler, which I guess is his normal tone of voice. Whistler finally responds and tells Michael that if he goes above ground where the other inmates are, he’ll be killed. Whistler has a sexy accent. Nice thing again.
Whistler asks Michael why people want him out of Sona, why they sent Michael. Michael doesn’t believe Whistler is innocent and I don’t blame him, but I’m confused as to why the Company wants Whistler. According to the most recent poll on our site, 37% of you think he’s one of them, 24% think the Company wants to kill him, and 38% have no freaking idea what this guy’s story is. I’m with you 38%.
Lincoln is meeting with Susan in a restaurant/lounge. She immediately tells him to not bother threatening her and instructs that they are to meet every day. She’s a very demanding, but thorough, criminal mastermind. If the Company had hired more people like her in Seasons 1 and 2 I suspect they would have accomplished more of their goals. Lincoln asks why he and Michael were chosen to break out Whistler. Whistler is a political target because of his crime and getting him out by bribes and official channels are not possible. Lincoln lays down a threat: if LJ and Sara are hurt, he’s going to come after Susan’s family. You better watch out, Susan. I’ve seen the damage Lincoln and his pecs can do.
The appearance of Sucre! He’s one of my favourite characters. He’s also buying a gun.
Some of the men are in the Sona courtyard, calling out Luchero for not providing them with water. Bellick is begging for rice inside the prison and gets turned away. He asks Michael why he’s interested in Whistler and Michael replies “no reason”. Bellick asks Michael why he’s whispering. Oh, Bellick, the more appropriate question is “why isn’t Michael whispering” because you know something’s wrong if that happens. Also, the answer to your question is either: (1) Michael has a heretofore unmentioned vocal cord problem, or (2) he thinks whispering is sexier. Michael tells Bellick to shut up about Whistler and that he’s his only friend, so he better do what he says. Bellick and Michael, friends? When the hell did that happen?
McGrady is talking to Mahone, saying that the Mayor has promised that anyone who kills Whistler will go free.
Sucre is visiting Bellick, who’s begging for Sucre to get him out of Sona. Sucre threatens Bellick with the gun he bought earlier. Bellick, who finally realizes that he needs to stop acting like a complete ass, admits that he never kidnapped Maricruz, he merely chased her and Sucre’s aunt out of the house back in Mexico. Sucre, brain trust that he is, believed him. Oh, Sucre, I’m sorry. I love you. I’ll be nicer. Bellick asks Sucre to help him and to call his mother back in the US. Sucre walks away in disgust
Now Mahone’s playing in the sewers, looking for Whistler. Mahone looks like he’s come to the conclusion that he won’t kill Whistler to get out of Sona when he hears Whistler coughing.
Now Lincoln’s visiting Michael, asking if he found Whistler. Lincoln’s rushing Michael, telling him to “keep moving, keep moving”. Holy cow, Lincoln. Cut the guy some freaking slack! He had months to plan your damn escape! Lincoln hands over Michael some money, which I find highly ironic considering Lincoln used to be the deadbeat and Michael used to be the wealthy engineer. Michael tells Lincoln that no one’s ever broken out of Sona before, and certainly never in a week. I agree with the week part, but I don’t think anyone ever broke out of Fox River before and Michael figured that one out. Come on, Michael, use your brain! Brains are hot. Lincoln tells Michael he’d trade places with him in a second and a perfect little tear, similar to Lincoln’s in the last episode, falls from my eye. Oh, Lincoln, you’re such a good brother. See? Another nice thing.
If I was the one in prison and my sister had to help break me out she’d be all “ahhhh, yeah, I’ll get around to it”. Which is the same thing she says to me when I ask her if she’s read my recaps (in case you missed that, Jennifer, that was a *hint*). Family relationships are always better on television, aren’t they?
Back in the sewers, Mahone’s searching for Whistler, who’s cowering behind a wall. Mahone promises to take Whistler somewhere safe but Whistler tells him to bugger off. Mahone jams a pipe through the wall Whistler’s hiding behind, perhaps shattering his helpful image.
Lincoln and Sucre meet up on the street. Lincoln tells Sucre about Michael but Sucre, who’s too excited to go to Maricruz (who’s back in Chicago), just wants to bail. Sucre, for shame! Michael broke you out of prison and saved your life in the river! As Sucre’s bus drives away, Linc notices “Banco de Versailles” on the back and pulls out Whistler’s note, the one Michael gave him.
Sofia, Whistler’s girlfriend, also has the note figured out and is directing a taxi to Banco de Versailles.
Back in Sona, Luchero is yelling at his flunky who overturned the water barrel earlier. Luchero instructs T-Bag to hand out some water he has in a jug. The men are still calling out Luchero in the courtyard. Bellick asks T-Bag to introduce him to Luchero, saying he’s got information. Oh, Bellick, you’re going to sell out Michael, huh? Hang your head, man. Hang it in shame!
Back in the sewers, Mahone’s successfully breaking down the wall between himself and Whistler.
T-Bag brings Bellick before Luchero. Bellick tells Luchero that Whistler might be hiding in the sewers. We’re back at the courtyard and we learn that McGrady’s been in Sona since he was 14. How sad. Michael sees Bellick’s newfound clothed and fed status and realizes that he gave up Whistler. I don’t think Michael is Bellick’s friend anymore.
Mahone is dragging Whistler through the sewer and confronts the posse that’s come for Whistler, when Michael also appears. He looks dangerous and murderous, which is a good look for him. Mahone holds off the posse with his big pipe and Michael is the only one with the balls to approach. Michael promises to testify for Mahone if he lets Whistler live when Whistler manages to run away.
Michael approaches Luchero, offering to help him if he takes the bounty off of Whistler. Luchero’s not about to trust the new pretty boy in town and asks T-Bag if Michael is trustworthy. Oh, please! T-Bag says that Michael is a snake. Let me sit here and ponder the hypocrisy of that statement for a moment. Michael goes back to the courtyard and asks McGrady to get him some moonshine or other booze. McGrady points out that the impending riot is not a good time to get wasted, but I disagree. I always drink during riots. Makes them more fun.
Sofia’s at the bank and identifies herself as Whistler’s girlfriend. We learn she’s a signatory on his account. Lincoln hears “Whistler” and starts watching her. Sucre is sitting on a bench at a bus stop when he’s approached by some cops who think he’s up to no good. Sucre then has a moral dilemma: go back to Maricruz or remain in Panama. Well, he doesn’t get on the bus.
Whistler’s being chased by Mahone through the sewers. Mahone, who’s obviously sick and tired of chasing after people, corners Whistler and tells him to come up with him.
McGrady delivers the booze to Michael, who then asks for plastic bags. Michael starts soaking some cotton strips in the alcohol.
Back at the bank, Sofia removes whatever was in Whistler’s safe deposit box. Lincoln follows her out. He approaches Sofia and identifies her as Whistler’s girl and then takes her bag. Wow, that was way too easy. Lincoln finds a little bird guide book and asks why Whistler wants it, but Sofia doesn’t know. The two of them get into a shouting match that goes something like this: Sofia: “Why won’t you people leave him alone?!” Lincoln: “My brother and I would love to be sitting on the beach, me tanning my pecs, Michael tanning his full-torso tattoo, instead of breaking your boy-toy out of jail!” Sofia doesn’t know about the breaking-Whistler-out-of-jail plan. We see Elliot Pike watching the two of them.
Back in his cell, Michael is pouring the booze into plastic bags. McGrady is worried about playing nice with Michael, since he has so many enemies and he’s only been in Sona for a day. Michael takes his bag into the courtyard.
Mahone’s back to dragging Whistler through the sewers and again manages to hold off the posse with just a pipe. Michael is back in the sewers, feeling across a pipe near the ceiling.
Luchero gets a call from a guard on the outside and asks for water. The guard points out that Luchero has no leverage, with no guards being present in Sona anymore, and promises water in two days.
Michael, who’s obviously figured out how to fix the water situation in 20 minutes when the rest of Sona couldn’t figure it out over the past year, is dropping the bag of alcohol down some sort of shaft. We see it’s been attached to a length of cloth. He lights the alcohol-soaked cloth on fire. Mahone manages to drag Whistler up to the courtyard, swinging his pipe.
Luchero comes down and another man challenges his supremacy. Meanwhile, an explosion is heard under the ground of the courtyard and water comes flooding out of a pipe. The men start cheering and Michael reappears. Mahone asks what’s to be done about Whistler and Luchero, clearly realizing what Michael’s done, agrees to take the bounty off Whistler’s head.
Sucre is calling Maricruz. He tells her that he’s not coming back to make sure she and the baby remain safe. Maricruz looks like she’s not happy with becoming a single, unwed mother. They exchange “I love yous” and call each other “baby” about 157 times in their conversation.
Lincoln is back at his pretty decent hotel and finds Susan in his room. Susan knows that Lincoln met up with Whistler’s girlfriend and tells him to stay away from her. She threatens Linc and demands to know what he took from Sofia. He says “a bird guide” and hands it over. She takes it and leaves. Oh-ho! Clever Lincoln. We see he tossed Susan an extra identical copy of the guide that he has recently bought. He starts looking through the one he procured from Sofia. Maybe Michael’s not the only brains in the family after all. On a side note, where the hell is Lincoln getting all this money for decent hotels and to fund Michael’s prison escapades? I hope the two of them were smart enough to pocket a few hundred grand from Westmoreland’s money before that sucker got lost in the ocean.
The man who was trying to ring-lead the rebellion against Luchero is now crying at his feet. Luchero and his buddies drown the guy in a bucket of water. If I were a dictator like Luchero, I would have drowned the guy outside in the courtyard, as a lesson to all the other would-be rebels. I also think the path to world domination begins by taking over Kazakhstan. I studied political science, you know. That makes me s-m-r-t (er, I mean s-m-a-r-t). Damnit, I shouldn’t have revealed my Kazakhstan plan.
Whistler’s thanking Michael for saving his life and wants to know about the escape plan. Michael, unfortunately, has no idea. But since he came up with the water plan in about 20 minutes, I say he needs about 4 or 5 hours to come up with an escape plan. Or possibly 3/4 of the season. Whichever the writers prefer.
So, was I nice enough? Is Wentworth on his way to my apartment now? Maybe I should MapQuest him some directions….
Written by: Clarissa